Schmähkritik Classic: Regisseure über Regisseure

Das amerikanische Internetmagazin Flavorwire hatte vor einigen Wochen die schönsten Autor-vs-Autor-Beleidigungen der Literaturgeschichte zusammengestellt. Diesmal geht es um die Filmbranche und die 30 schärfsten Regisseursbeleidigungen – hier eine Auswahl:

* Orson Welles über Jean-Luc Godard:
“His gifts as a director are enormous. I just can’t take him very seriously as a thinker — and that’s where we seem to differ, because he does. His message is what he cares about these days, and, like most movie messages, it could be written on the head of a pin.”

* Ingmar Berman…
** über Orson Welles:

“For me he’s just a hoax. It’s empty. It’s not interesting. It’s dead. Citizen Kane, which I have a copy of — is all the critics’ darling, always at the top of every poll taken, but I think it’s a total bore. Above all, the performances are worthless. The amount of respect that movie’s got is absolutely unbelievable.”

** über Jean-Luc Godard:
“I’ve never gotten anything out of his movies. They have felt constructed, faux intellectual, and completely dead. Cinematographically uninteresting and infinitely boring. Godard is a fucking bore. He’s made his films for the critics. One of the movies, Masculin, Féminin, was shot here in Sweden. It was mind-numbingly boring.”

* Werner Herzog über Jean-Luc Godard:
“Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good kung-fu film.”

* Jacques Rivette…
** über Stanley Kubrick:

“Kubrick is a machine, a mutant, a Martian. He has no human feeling whatsoever. But it’s great when the machine films other machines, as in 2001.”

** über James Cameron und Steven Spielberg:
“Cameron isn’t evil, he’s not an asshole like Spielberg. He wants to be the new De Mille. Unfortunately, he can’t direct his way out of a paper bag. “

* Vincent Gallo…
** über Spike Jonze:

“He’s the biggest fraud out there. If you bring him to a party he’s the least interesting person at the party, he’s the person who doesn’t know anything. He’s the person who doesn’t say anything funny, interesting, intelligent… He’s a pig piece of shit.”

** über Martin Scorsese:
“I wouldn’t work for Martin Scorsese for $10 million. He hasn’t made a good film in 25 years. I would never work with an egomaniac has-been.”

** über Sofia (und Francis Ford) Coppola:
“Sofia Coppola likes any guy who has what she wants. If she wants to be a photographer she’ll fuck a photographer. If she wants to be a filmmaker, she’ll fuck a filmmaker. She’s a parasite just like her fat, pig father was.”

* Kevin Smith on Paul Thomas Anderson:
“I’ll never watch it again, but I will keep it. I’ll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work.”

* Tim Burton über Kevin Smith (nachdem Smith Burton beschuldigt hat, dass jener das Ende seines Planet der Affen Remakes aus einem Comicbuch von Kevin Smith gestohlen habe):
“Anyone who knows me knows I would never read a comic book. And I would especially never read anything created by Kevin Smith.”

* und die Replik dazu von Kevin Smith an Tim Burton
“Which, to me, explains fucking Batman.”

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