A friend of mine, who came to Berlin from Romania, told me once this story: she was walking on a sidewalk when she witnessed a band of Gypsies sitting in a coffee shop. She greeted them and they indulged in a little conversation. What are you doing here, they asked. I study, she replied. What instrument, they inquired.

I love Gypsy music. It reminds me of Kusturica before he fell in love with himself. Gypsy music in Berlin means even more as it marks the official ending of another horrible winter. This was one of Maya’s first associations: when she heard the trombone and the accordion, she knew it was time to ask for an ice cream.

It is quite amazing for me that in the past month I encountered two incidents where riders in the train had asked a band of gypsies to halt their… weiter lesen

A German girl, soon to be three, went a couple of weeks ago for a regular growth check-up. The doctor asked her to draw a shape, and the girl drew a triangle.

What is it, asked the doctor.

Pizza, replied the girl.

The doctor took a red pencil and painted the inside of the triangle-pizza.

And what is this, she asked.

Ketchup, the girl screamed back with joy.

I know the girl’s grandparents. They love to tell this story.

**

I went to Wedding to eat Hummus this morning. I have to keep a memo to myself: “eat hummus only in the morning, every morning if possible, even if it is just a spoon.”

The greatest benefit of eating Hummus in the morning is that after you do that, there is no way you can fight or argue with anybody. Maybe it is just what the chickpeas are making to… weiter lesen

Pfffff, what a fucking month. It got so bad (any of you remember the earthquake in New Zealand?), that we decided to skip Berlin for a few days in Rome.

On the way back, we grabbed a German newspaper, and I let myself dive into the minor news. Wasn’t ready yet for the fire and smoke, the green and the nuclear. In this section I ran into a delightful piece of news about a bakery in Saxony that decided to advertise its new campaign for chocolate cake, and accompanied it with a picture of young black baby.

What really fascinated me was the company’s response. “Something went wrong with this offer, but despite this, one doesn’t have to criticise shop workers or destroy posters,” said the company’s lawyer.

The bakery itself was unapologetic on its website: “The child which you see on the adverts is the little Sofiyha, whose mother Lina and… weiter lesen

I am not writing about the heartbreaking news from Japan. I can’t stomach what I am seeing, and anybody that knows me can tell you that I am writing from my stomach, not my head.

Therefore I would like to go back to the horrible murder of the parents and three of their children in Itamar, this past weekend.

On the same day that the victims were buried, Israeli officials were talking about the response. The option everyone took was revenge, an eye for an eye. But this revenge had nothing to do with bombs or guns. Ministers were talking about expanding the settlements, one minister suggested building 5000 new houses in the West Bank. The Prime Minister even came out with a brilliant copy-writing when he came to consul the family: “they shoot, we build.” And so Israel will build 500 new houses in the settlement.

The timing of… weiter lesen

I didn’t expect much from the media and the international community regarding the butchering of almost an entire Israeli family on Friday night. Not with the terrible news coming from Japan.

And still….

Let’s summarize: a Palestinian terrorist, probably two, invaded the settlement Itamar in the West Bank on Friday night. They wait outside the home of the Fogel Family until the Shabbat dinner is over and the guests are returning home. Then they enter the house and butcher five people in their sleep: the parents and three of their six kids, ages 11,4, and three months.

And this is how CNN had decided to report the news: “five members of an Israeli family were killed in the West Bank in what Israeli military spokesman termed as ‘terror attack’”

It is a specific and malice use of language. The family was killed and not murdered. And… weiter lesen

As I was piling tons of stress on my back, my better half had decided to book for me an appointment for a massage. We are together enough time for her to know that a good reflexology can do wonders to me, and consequently, to out relationships.

A man in his late 20′s called me name as I was sitting in the large waiting area of one of Prenzlaur Berg more posh massage parlor. I followed him as we were walking in a maze of rooms, from one building to the other, finally settling in a small room featuring Far Eastern whisper music and the special aroma of massage parlor.

On the way he was telling me about himself. He was a dancer who followed his love, both professionally and personally, to Berlin. I took off my clothes and lied on my back, and he asked me what did I want… weiter lesen

“True Stories” is a movie that came out in 1986. It was directed by Talking Heads’ lead singer, David Byrne who also was the movie’s main character.

Despite bad reviews (I think that the movie was way ahead of his time), I really liked the movie, but it was also released at a time when I thought Byrne couldn’t do anything wrong.

There is one scene in the movie, taking place in a fictional place in Texas, that I remember very vividly. There are two white people sitting in a mall. The camera is following what they are staring at. First, they are looking at three old white women, and then their stare, and the camera, wanders to three young and very attractive black girls.

“What do you think?” One of them asks the other.

“Hmmmm, too old for me,” comes the answer.

Yesterday I went to buy a costume… weiter lesen

We were on the line at the supermarket near to our house. There were two ladies in front of me, one made a major shopping, the other didn’t even need a shopping basket.

I was putting my products on the belt: a diet Coke, potatoes, cream cheese, some salty junk food. A man in his 30′s was standing behind me, holding only a bad with cold cuts. “If you have only this, you can go in front of me,” I told him. He gave me the same response I get every time I make this offer: a refusal with the shoulder, then a gesture with the mouth asking me if I am sure, and then a constant smile, once they are ahead of me.

The cashier finished the scanning of the products of the first lady on the line. It was eighty something Euros. The lady handed her a credit… weiter lesen

I went to a bar, around the corner from my house, with a friend. It was Friday night and quite crowded, so we joined a table with two more couples.

At some point, we went out for a smoke. One of the females near us asked if she can come with us and keep us warm. She asked my friend where he is from, then told us where she was from, and then asked me where I was from.

I gave her my usual and charming answer: “I am coming from the peaceful land of Israel.”

There was a mili-second of silence, she took a drag from the rolled cigarette, and start to say: “sind Sie Ju..”, and stopped.

We kept talking for a few more minutes, and then went inside. After ten minutes my friend excused him for the toilet. She took the opportunity and… weiter lesen

Please don’t destroy the pyramids.

We won’t rebuild.

The Jews