FIFA – Der Film. Tim Roth als Sepp Blatter, Gerard Depardieu als Jules Rimet. (Schmähkritik included!)

Im ersten Moment denkt man sich: Wahnsinn, was der Böhmermann da auf die Beine gestellt hat!
Ein Trailer zu einen Film mit der Tagline „The saga of the World cup and the three wholly honest and deeply ethical men who created it“ über die Weltfußballorganisation FIFA und höchsten Production Values bei einem Budget von gut 25 Millionen Euro!
Sogar Tim Roth konnte als Besetzung für Sepp Blatter herangezogen werden und dann, Schenkelklopfer!, spielt Gerard Depardieu auch noch die Legende Jules Rimet (nach dem der frühere WM-Pokal benannt wurde) und sieht, siehe oben, dabei aus wie Walter Sedlmayr selig!


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Doch dann merkt man: halt, dieses mal ist weder Böhmermann noch John Oliver verantwortlich – dieser Film existiert wirklich! In Zusammenarbeit mit der FIFA hat Regisseur Frédéric Auburtin (der früher zum Beispiel am Leonardo DiCaprio – Vehikel „Der Mann mit der eisernen Maske“ gearbeitet hat) die Geschichte der FIFA und des World Cups verfilmt. Mit größtem Aufwand, viel Starpower und einem Trailer, der einen ratlos zurücklässt. Wird „United Passions“ der schlechteste Film aller Zeiten?

„Der Film ist eine unsägliche Selbstbeweihräucherung“, so das wenig überraschende Fazit der WELT, wohingegen der britische Guardian „United Passions“ gleich als „the most intensely embarrassing film imaginable“ ankündigt.
Am schönsten liest sich aber die Zusammenfassung aus dem Telegraph:

„United Passions is a motion picture that appears to have been made by a man who’s never so much as heard a story. It includes performances by actors who have quite possibly never met other human beings. It is not good.

First things first, United Passions is pure propaganda. It is is as objective about its subject as Triumph of the Will was in its treatment of Nazi Germany. Whatever Frederic Auburtin was paid to write and direct this bloated monstrosity, it wasn’t enough. Whether he’ll work again remains to be seen.

The film’s budget was an astonishing £16m, more than the annual turnover of most of Uefa’s national associations. Most of this money seems to have been spent on massive windows overlooking picturesque locations where boring meetings take place. (…)
There is no subtext, only text. Much of the time it feels like characters exist solely to fill the audience in on certain machinations at the organisation; these are voice-overs in human form with no agency of their own.

The filmmaker somehow manages to reduce actors like Tim Roth, Sam Neill and Gerard Depardieu to the level of an amateur dramatics society. The latter particularly struggles with the word “Uruguay”, one he is required to use rather a lot. One can only imagine the scene on set looked something like this:

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Perhaps the strangest aspect of the whole sorry mess is that a governing body is presented as noble and heroic. The people behind the film seem to genuinely believe children grow up dreaming of doing admin. Forget Pele, these guys are the real heroes. (…)

Fast forward a few years (something the film is very keen on, thereby ensuring the viewer never becomes too invested in any aspect of the narrative) and we meet Blatter. Hagiography, thy name is United Passions.
Blatter is painted as a tireless campaigner let down by those around him. An underling tells him he “deserves it” in reference to the top job. When Fifa’s coffers run dry, he pays staff out of his own pocket and, when he voices his concerns about the financial situation, is informed: “You worry too much.” As early as 1982 he is trying to get video technology on the agenda and, best of all, he goes as far as to warn his colleagues: “The slightest breach of ethics will be punished.” This is a 109 minute homage to dramatic irony.

This should not be a film. It should not include proper actors. The soundtrack should not incorporate Talking Heads. At one point, Roth’s Blatter turns all Don Corleone and says: “One should always forgive, just as one should never forget.”

As someone who watched the film in its entirety, I have a different maxim – never forgive, never forget.“



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* Regie: Frédéric Auburtin
* imdb


Übrigens: Klick.

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