beispielbilder

„You haven’t written anything about Trump and fascism and we’re all fascists and everyone is going to die and white men will kill everyone and trans people in America are dying like flies for ages, Jacinta.“ My friend Klaus says.

„Haven’t I,“ I say half-heartedly.

„I guess you realize now that Trump isn’t quite the monster you imagined him to be.“

I look at Klaus, totally horrified. Klaus is one of those East Germans who think Hillary is a total monster and evil and awful and has killed more people than Spanish Flu and the World War Ones and Two combined and also laughed at everyone while her husband was sexually assaulting them and stuff like that. I still love him, he’s one of my best friends, but since Trump got elected I don’t really like him very much.

„He’s exactly the monster I imagined him to be! He’s the monster he very clearly and blatantly announced to the world he was! I’m not, like disappointed because he hasn’t done the Muslim ban inhumanely enough or anything.“

„You don’t know what Hillary Clinton would’ve done by now,“ he says, maddeningly.

The truth is, I am kind of used to just thinking people are Nazis and people who before Trump got elected weren’t Nazis are now well, just kind of okay with really bad stuff happening. I was shocked at first, by how quickly everyone just stopped caring about things that we all used to be against. But I’m not shocked anymore. I just actually think most people think it is okay that white supremacists are in the White House. And I do shut my brain down a little bit nowadays. I put on the news but I feel my eyes going glassy while I’m watching, I make myself go a bit numb inside. Because I feel like if I didn’t I would actually kill myself. It seems like there is literally nothing that Trump can do that will make people like Klaus admit that he is a fucking psychopath fascist and that the only reason they are so relaxed about is is that they are a) white men and b) not living in the States. Like literally Trump could eat the corpse of a little Muslim baby for breakfast on live television and they would still shrug and say things like: „Well, really, the left is to blame because nobody wanted to challenge Hillary about her e-mails. Until the left admits that they are to blame for not challenging Hillary on her e-mails, I am not going to panic about Trump’s Muslim baby for breakfast policy. Also the babies aren’t specifically Muslim, it just so happens that all the babies he’s eaten for breakfast so far happen to have been Muslim – but he hasn’t specifically said he wouldn’t eat a Syrian Christian baby if the chef served him one up. This is the trouble with the left, you know. Maybe when all the Muslim babies in the world have been eaten, then the left will finally wake up and realize that they shouldn’t have been so panicky about Trump’s baby eating policy and also that Hillary Clinton’s e-mail thing was actually a thing and not just a totally fucking ridiculous waste of everyone’s time.“

I decide to change the subject.

„You know when I was a kid, when my mum bought the photo frames from Boots? Boots was this huge Apotheke, like half an Apotheke and half a department store. Kind of like Müller? And my mum would buy these photos frames from Boots and they would have the Beispielbilder in them. Which were always like these models in sepia. And I just thought they were so beautiful. I just thought it was such a shame that my mum took those sepia models on beaches photos out and put our ugly photos in, like me with my glasses and our clothes totally unmatching and we were never on a beach.“

„Yes?“ Klaus says.

„I used to think: when I grow up, I am going to leave the Beispielbilder in.“

„You didn’t say Beispielbilder.“

„I can’t remember what the English word is?“

„You must’ve had seriously low self-esteem,“ says Klaus.

But the funny thing is, I don’t think I did, not really. I think I was just really open-minded and also really into sepia. That’s all it was.

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