what about Darius

What about Darius?

No, Mum.

No to Darius?

Sounds like a pimp.

It does not sound like a pimp.

Totally sounds like a pimp.

Sounds like the one out of Harry Potter who turned into a black dog or something.

Sounds like a pimp who beats his prostitutes.

That’s such an inappropriate thing for a 12 year old to say, honestly.

The dog one in Harry Potter’s called Sirius.

What about Ron?

MUM! Not Ron.

Or Roderick?

MUM! Do not call the baby Roderick.

Or Rodney. Rodney’s quite nice. Rodney.

MUM!

Girls names are so much better. Daisy. Zoe. Leanne. Hayley. Or old-fashioned ones like Ursula and Isolde. Rebecca. There’s literally one million nice girls names.

Write a blog about how sexist this all is, why don’t you.

It’s a shame that gay British boy is such a Nazi, his name’s lovely. Milo.

You could call the baby Donald!

Not going to call the baby Donald.

You wanted to call it Darius!

What about Damien?

No way!

God, now I understand why the Americans just give the baby the exact same name as their dad and call it Junior. Now I actually totally fucking get it.

Mum, don’t swear.

Sorry.

You’re supposed to me my. Vorbild.

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