I made a mistake in my last blogpost. There, I admit it. I made a mistake. A proper mistake, too, not just a tiny little anaemic typo, but an actual mistake, big and grotesque and plump and clumsy like a big, fat, lazy spider waiting for you in the toilet in your nana’s holiday cottage.
This is what I wrote:
It’s just so depressing that our greatest love story of all time is based upon a relationship where the man basically despises the woman.
I was talking about Ross Geller and Rachel Green, and I didn’t mean to write that of course. Ross and Rachel are a brilliant love story, admittedly, and they are also probably one of the greatest (well, most famous at least) love stories of all time, but actually I just meant ON THE TELLY. I think without specifying that you’re referring to televised romances, it’s a bit over the top to say they are the greatest love story of all time. Romeo and Juliet are probably a greater (more famous, at least) love story than Ross Geller and Rachel Green and the prom love and Julie and the list and the break and the photocopy shop girl and the saying the wrong name at the altar and the Vegas marriage and the accidental impregnation and the decision not to go to Paris in the end after all (spoiler alert, sorry, also big mistake Rachel). Yep, when I think about it, Ross and Rachel are only the second greatest love story of all time. I was a bit inaccurate.
So I re-rewatched Friends this evening, I know, I should get out more, or at the very least try to watch Iranian feminist vampire cartoons from 1922, etc. Or read. I could read couldn’t I. But tonight I re-rewatched Friends – I watched the episodes where Chandler wants to propose to Monica, but he fucks it up, because her sexy, suave ex-boyf Richard comes to the same restaurant, and then Chandler tries to make her think he isn’t going to propose at all, and she runs off to Richard’s house because he says he has never stopped loving her. It’s often said, nowadays, that Friends was unfunny and uncool and I just think that’s something people say because they think that’s what everyone else thinks. I mean, the Friends characters were seriously uncool. That part is true, even I think they are uncool, and I am the kind of person who is still watching and thinking about Friends in 2018. It’s amazing, actually, to watch Friends now and see how uncool they allowed themselves to be – I guess you could call them basic if you wanted. I feel a bit jealous of just how uncool they are. It’s not the denim, it’s the way they only do things they actually want to do, and everything they want to do is slightly uncool. But it’s not true – in fact, it’s a barefaced lie – to say it was unfunny. The comedic conceits most episodes were based on up until around Series 6 were really genuinely funny. They really were. But it would be true to say they weren’t always totally original. Chandler’s taking trying to trick Monica into thinking he never wanted to get married very much reminded me of Basil Fawlty pretending to Sybill he’d forgotten their anniversary again. Slightly unoriginal, perhaps, but definitely not unfunny. It’s just dishonest to pretend Friends isn’t funny. Stop saying that. You’re lying to yourselves.
Anyway, I made a really totally important sixth discovery.
POINT SIX: Why are Ross and Rachel considered to be such a golden couple, when they don’t even like or respect each other that much/A-FUCKING-TALL, but Monica and Chandler’s love is not seen as romantic in any way whatsoever? Monica and Chandler really, really like each other, they really like, respect AND love each other, they’re really suited, they really get on, they complement each other and help each other and they are just obviously really meant to be together. Chandler has his whole commitment phobia thing but he overcomes it because Monica is the person he is meant to be with. He thinks she is worth the fear. And he loves Monica for her strengths and her weaknesses and for her strengths that are actually weaknesses and her weaknesses that are actually strengths. They believe in each other. AND THEY TAKE THE PISS OUT OF EACH OTHER. They actually have the most romantic relationship anyone has ever had, ever. But all anyone EVER talks about is Ross and Rachel. Why? Do Ross and Rachel even know each other’s strengths and weaknesses? All he sees is an impossibly perfect pretty princess and all she sees is a clever/posh guy who is going to complete her. So, tonight I worked out why this is. Why we love Ross and Rachel and never think about Monica and Chandler. I think it is literally because they have the same initials so people subconsciously think they are meant to be together and also (perhaps more importantly) literally just because they are better-looking. That is how shallow we are. God, I hate humanity.
I am not going to „re“-watch Star Trek (sorry) but I might do a bit of Doctor Who. Not promising though. The problem with Doctor Who is there is just so much to say. I don’t think you guys would be able to handle the constant outpouring of blogs that would ensue once I got started