So this is a pet peeve of mine: whenever and I literally mean whenliterallyfuckingever like every SINGLE time every single single single time every TIME without fail, every time people try to discuss how shit it is for women that we have to look after the kids ALL THE TIME like every SINGLE hour of EVERY SINGLE DAY and the men don’t have to look after the kids quite so much, even the nicest, most feminist, sweetest Dad in the world does 50% of the care-work and this fucks up our careers and our pensions and also our self-confidence and then people blame us – nobody wants to babysit – like literally most people would rather die than babysit for you – but at the same time people despise women who stay home and look after their kids – they look at you pityingly and say so you’re just at home with the baby, huh. Don’t you get bored? And every day you spend home alone with the children you watch the clock creep round slowly to seven o’clock and you watch your worth as a human being and your career chances dwindling and dwindling and dwindling – think of that hour glass in the Wizard of Oz and the witch shouting and it won’t be long my darling, it won’t be long! THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW. And so people are discussing this – women are discussing this – and people are angry – maybe even a bit desperate – and they’re trying to solve this problem, women are shouting at each other: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS what are we going to do about this what can we do what are we to do, what’s to become of me? What shall we do? Will Bedingungsloses Grundeinkommen help, should the state pay us for care-work, maybe every woman alive should go get herself sterilized and we grow the babies in test tubes and we just force the men to do a bit of childcare every now and again, we have to do something, we have to do something, we have to do something WE CAN’T GO ON LIKE THIS.
That’s the discussion the women are having – it’s a discussion about women and how shit it is that everyone just assumes we should be the ones to be the primary caregivers but then they despise us for it and punish us financially, basically, and then you know what happens? Every. Single. Time. One guy always always always always ALWAYS pipes up and says „I took three months Elternzeit and actually you know what? When I went to the Spielplatz, the other mums didn’t speak to me. I was pretty isolated, actually. Just putting it out there.“
Okay so listen up:
- I AM ALWAYS FLIRTING WITH DADS AT THE SPIELPLATZ. I am actually not the kind of feminist who automatically prefers female company. I hate to admit it but I’m actually the kind of feminist who wants to flirt with the dads at the Spielplatz. It just makes the Spielplatz time, which is the most boring time ever experienced, time goes by so slowly at Spielplatzes, it’s like one Spielplatz minute is four normal minutes, go slightly quicker. Stop whingeing about how nobody will talk to you and just flirt with me for fuck’s sake, am not suggesting a cheeky blowjob in the bushes, just some mild harmless flirtatiousness, the kind of harmless sexy banter that sexist men think’s been banned in German workplaces and remember you guys what happens in the Spielplatz stays in the Spielplatz
- IT IS ISOLATING HAVING A KID AND BEING AT HOME. I think men really exaggerate how much fun women are having with each other at these Spielplatzes. The truth is, it is fucking isolating being at home with your kid, all day long, and maybe it is easier for women to strike up conversation with each other, or maybe Mums have got so used to the boring Isolations-Haft-Spielplatz-Folter-Erlebnisse that they actually just verabreden themselves and go to the Spielplatz with their friends. Huh? The truth is, when you turn up alone, it can be hard for women to make friends, too. For example, I would say that it’s just as hard for a WoC with bad German (yes, me) to make friends/conversation with a bunch of fairly normal Bio-German mums as it is for the white German isolated Dad in the corner. I mean, I admit I do make conversation with other people at the Spielplatz and I have even made friends at the Spielplatz but you do have to try your hardest to seem as boring and normal as fucking possible. And I suspect that being a Dad at home is not that much more isolating than being a Mum at home, but men cannot admit „Shit this is harder than I thought, wow, women are actually putting up with some hard shit every day“ so they have to pretend it is so much harder for them than for women. I am not trying to say Dads don’t get isolated at the Spielplatz, I am just saying being alone with kids all day long is isolating
- As if women never got isolated when there were like seven men and one woman in the room
Sorry, just putting it out there