vonjacintanandi 13.05.2019

Riotmama

True Confessions from Berlin's slummiest yummy mummy.

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There are lots of little signs you’ve been in Germany too long, like you go home and everyone’s telling you off for being rude to waitresses and you’re like what, I don’t know her, why would I tell her how long I’m staying in London for, it’s totally irrelevant information, she doesn’t need to know, or you are genuinely shocked at how shit the trains are or you think everyone should put a fucking coat on because it’s fucking Winter for fuck’s sake people or you keep on saying blanket and you mean duvet and your mum’s like I don’t have any blankets and you’re like what is literally wrong with you but here are THE TWO BIGGEST SIGNS

  1. You feel rude saying „you“ to people, like strangers, just because it rhymes with Du, it feels almost like a penis has entered the conversation, so naked and ugly and exposed and you start trying to avoid the word „you“ altogether by putting everything in the passive voice
  2. You tell anecdotes like this „So my female cousin told my male cousin she was getting married and my male cousin asked my female cousin if our other male cousin was going to come and my female cousin wasn’t sure because she said our male cousin might be travelling“ or „The female doctor told the male doctor I could go home but the male doctor isn’t so sure“ or even „My female neighbour came to pick up a package the other day and she told me her female landlord has reduced their rent because of the front doorbell not working for so long.“

THAT’S WHEN YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO GO HOME

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https://blogs.taz.de/riotmama/2019/05/13/you-know-you-been-in-germany-too-long-when/

aktuell auf taz.de

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