(I know it is Holocaust day today, but since I dislike the notion that I am supposed to remember the Holocaust on one particular day, I will write about something else and I promise to dedicate the next post to Holocaust)

When Maya was born we were so confused, we were basically going to stores, emptying the shelves, paying, going back home, meeting new parents, realizing we forgot something and returned back to the store to empty another shelf. That’s why we have about 38 unused bottles in one drawer in the kitchen, 397 white linens, and, this is not even close to exaggeration, 13 bottle cleaners. And three buckets where Maya was supposed to take shower as a baby that we never used.

We also asked friends of ours from New York, also new parents, to send us a baby package. with what, they asked. with everything a baby need, besides a bed, we answered. The Euro was very strong when Maya was born. A month later we got a note in our mailbox that we have a package waiting for us, but that first we must pay a visit to the custom office in order to release the package.

I drove there. It is a flat and long building, with two undivided rooms. I took a number and waited on line. When my number was called, a fifty-something-old  woman greeted me by spitting the word “receipt”. I answered that I don’t have a one, but she kept insisting that she wanted a receipt. At that point I realized that I forgot to turn off my mobile navigation system and it started to bark orders at me from the bottom of my bag. ”

Turn right”.

“The receipt”.

“In one hundred meters make a u-turn”.

“THE RECEIPT”.

After she made sure that I don’t have a receipt ( I learned later that it makes their work much easier if they can get a transaction receipt), she handed me a new number and asked me to wait in the next room until my number will be called. I took the first right turn and waited.

When my number was called I approached the counter again. two agents awaited me there with our huge box near their feet. They asked me to lift it on the counter, handed me a box cutter and asked me to open it and show them the content. I started to pull out an endless parade of breast pads. breastfeeding bras and the likes. They inspected it, asked me to wait and wrap everything back again, and turned back to their table. They looked at the computer screen and start fondling with a little calculator in a manner that I know very well: this is what people do when they have no idea what to do.

After five minutes they approached me and announced that I have to (must, in their lingo) pay 117 euros for the package to be released from the custom. I wouldn’t make a big fuss over 117 dollars, but there was no way I was about to pay 117 Euros, so I started to think quickly as an Israeli. If there is something that Israelis can’t stand it is to be screwed up. (Nobody likes to be screwed up but with Israelis it is an obsession: I know somebody who once drank a diet coke from the hotel mini bar, found out that it costs 5 Euro and then drove 25 kilometers, to the next grocery store, to buy the Diet Coke for 2 Euros). 

“Listen”,  I told them, “I don’t mind paying 117 Euros, but I think I need to explain to you something: Our daughter was born and many of our friends from the United States called us to ask what they can send. So we told them what we need, but I also told them that because of ecology it would be much nicer if they can send it in one box”.

The agents didn’t give a shit about my story until I spelled out the word ecology. I made a notice to myself and continued. “Ecologically, I think it would be very bad if 30 people would send us their present separately, using 30 cardboards and 30 wrapping papers. So I think it won’t be correct if you will be punishing me for doing something for the ecology. I think that, ecologically, you should encourage people like me”.

They nodded and turned back to their desk and started fondling  the calculator again. After five minutes of nothing they came back. “OK sir. congratulations for the new baby. We did a calculation and now you will have to pay only 8.77 Euros”.

So we also have now 250 small blue bags for dispensing the pampers when we are outside.

But I never understood how they came up with that 8.77.