„Summer camp. I’m training to be a lifeguard, and our instructor — beyond hot. His Speedo, tight and packed. I’m losing it. They tell us that drowning victims can panic and pose a risk to themselves and the rescuer. You have to approach them from below, start at their legs, then wrap your arms around them firmly. Guess who the instructor picks to be the “drowning victim”? I’m kicking and splashing in the water as he comes up from below, hands sliding along my legs. He hits my hard cock through my trunks, and I feel his firm grip inching higher, wrapping around me in his muscled arms. I can feel his heavy bulge pressed against my body. Suddenly, he says it’s my turn to perform the rescue on him. I take his legs, my hand brushing over his Speedo and the hard line beneath. My arm slips around his torso, his neck so close I could bite. Then he calls up the next person to give it a try. Afterward, he tells the group I did the best job.”

We hear this narration in VoiceOver. Who’s speaking? We never find out; he remains nameless. All we know is that this speaker, likely some barely-there teenage self, is struggling to find words to articulate what he is, what he’s becoming. Meanwhile, the screen shows us mesmerizing images of a lake and its surrounding pine forest. There’s a small beach, some cabins – classic summer camp vibes. Is this where our narrator learned more about life than he could ever have hoped for? That, too, remains a mystery.

But that’s the thing with fairy tales right? They hold their secrets, give us riddles, and transport us into unknown realms that only reveal their true nature in due time. Welcome to MEMORABILIA, presented at the 2024 edition of the Berlin Pornfilmfestival.

Men, Sex, and Cum

Charles Lum was a filmmaker and producer from New York, born June 25, 1958, and taken far too soon by cancer on November 30, 2021. He picked up a camera at the age of ten.

Lum’s early work was in 8mm film; by the mid-to-late 1980s, he’d transitioned to video. His films revolved around themes he found especially interesting — or perhaps enticing: men, gay sex, cruising culture, and, of course, cum. Later in life, he also documented his experience living with HIV. His piece OVERDUE CONVERSATION even made its way into the German AIDS Federation’s film catalog.

After Lum’s passing, filmmaker Todd Verow, a long-time friend and creative partner, became the guardian of Lum’s cinematic legacy. This wasn’t just some archival project – it was a treasure trove of 8mm film and videos on various digital formats. There were also countless brief, blunt notes Lum had scrawled about his sexual encounters on every scrap of paper you could imagine. “7 Loads. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice.”

A Time Capsule of Gay Life

Verow cataloged and preserved this material. Some of the film rolls hadn’t even been developed; others still had a few minutes of unused reel time left, though they were way past their expiration date. Analog film, after all, is a fragile medium. This was no ordinary collection at risk; it was an irreplaceable time capsule of gay life, capturing the highs and lows of gay culture and sexuality — and, within it all, some breathtaking film images.

While he was still alive, Lum came up with the idea for MEMORABILIA, and now it was Verow’s task to bring that vision to life. Technically, the film is a 70-minute montage of 8mm footage overlaid with a VoiceOver and a mesmerizing soundscape.

But let’s be clear: this technical description doesn’t do it justice.

Back to the teen at summer camp, suddenly electrified by a scorching hot lifeguard with a very full Speedo. If there were ever a way to distill the intensity and inexplicable magic of gay desire into a fairy tale, MEMORABILIA would be it. In fact, it is it. And what a tale it is. Though “fairy tale” here needs some rethinking – this isn’t “family-friendly,” and morality? Well, we’ll just skip that part altogether. It’s a porno fairy tale in the most delicious way possible.

The only thing our narrator knows for sure: he’ll find his people on Fire Island during family vacations, instinctively, gravitating toward the woods behind the beach.

The Broken Vacuum

There’s a loosely chronological structure here. We begin with our narrator’s teenage self, who shares his thoughts (or maybe memories?) with us throughout the film. We learn that at some point his mom had to replace the family vacuum after, let’s call it, “alternative use” rendered it useless. The new model marks the end of his first sexual relationship in his still-young life.

Then comes college. His dorm room is shared with a gym-obsessed straight guy who spends all his time at the campus gym. Perfect for our hero, who has plenty of alone time to get off on his roommate’s sweaty, testosterone-soaked clothes. Perfect. And so it goes. Our hero grows up, driven by lust and life. He travels the world and, in London, discovers something new: the public restroom, or „tearoom,“ as a cruising spot. Men of every type, shapes and sizes, endless cum — he’s in his element.

MEMORABILIA is an unreliable fairy tale if you’re looking for a biographical glimpse into Lum’s life. Sure, Lum’s notes and memories form its backbone, but so do the experiences and memories of Verow, who shared a similar trajectory. This is a memory-driven fairy tale – albeit one of a more collective nature.

And even the film footage itself isn’t exclusively Lum’s. Remember, there were unexposed reels left in his archive, which Verow has now used to add visual splendor to this fairy tale. A beautiful ass in a white jockstrap, a vacuum hose and a hard cock, a sexy man shaving in front of the mirror with heaps of shaving foam – holding a gaze with us that’s anything but subtle. MEMORABILIA constantly shifts in a beguiling space between fiction and memory.

Hypnotic Nature Shots

It’s a heady mind trip, a blissful dive into the tactile joys of analog film, even in the humble 8mm format. Rich colors, grainy texture, warm light — a visual feast. Every frame invites you to sink into this cinematic orgy from a lost era of film.

Charles Lum filmed with obsession, capturing whatever was in front of him. And he was a traveler, too. No surprise, then, that this fairy tale lives in a world of gorgeous nature shots from the U.S. and beyond. Familiar motifs abound: beaches, the sea, the sun, the horizon.

Where there’s a beach, men aren’t far behind. Beautiful, suntanned asses gleam in the sunlight. Speedos, full to bursting, lure the viewer’s gaze. Our narrator’s desires, first imprinted in adolescence, are as vivid as ever. And honestly, why not? Lycra, sweat, sunscreen, cum — nothing hurts more than having to leave MEMORABILIA’s shimmeringly seductive world behind after 70 minutes.“

• MEMORABILIA, USA 2024, Charles Lum & Todd Verow, 70

• Deutsche Fassung dieses Textes im Dauerliveblog zum Pornfilmfestival 2024.

---