vonChristian Ihle 28.08.2017

Monarchie & Alltag

Neue Bands und wichtige Filme: „As long as the music’s loud enough, we won’t hear the world falling apart“.

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Auch wenn der Anlass des wegen Terrorwarnung abgesagten Allah-Las Konzert unschön ist, muss ich trotzdem die Gelegenheit ergreifen, um den fantastischen Artikel von Steven Wells (wohl mein liebster Musikjournalist der letzten 20 Jahre, dem ich hier als „Godfather of Schmähkritik“ auch schon mal meine Ehrerbietung erbracht habe) zu posten, in dem er sich über die Namensänderung der Muslims in The Soft Pack echauffiert:

„Every day I get hundreds of emails from press officers babbling excitedly about band called the thingies, the can’t-be-arseds, the hos, the hums, the blahs and the like, whatevers. (…) And then – zing – along comes a band called the Muslims. Now I’m a freelance journalist. I’m a busy man. I’ve got zombies to kill, tanks to blow up, funny cats to point at, war comics to read, gutters to clean and, oh, all sorts of really important things. But there’s no way I’m not going to spend 10 seconds checking out the MySpace page of a band with a name as spicily zeitgeisty as the Muslims.

I am not disappointed. The drummer has a receding hairline – always a good sign. The singer wears jumpers that are too small for him – again, an obvious signifier of massive latent talent. Their videos are cute exercises in postmodernist, existentialist deconstructionism (or „a bit like the Gang of Four“). And the music most definitely does not suck utterly. In an if-the-Strokes-read-more-books sorta way. (…)
midway through writing this the Muslims have changed their name to … the Soft Pack. Why? In the name of God, why?
Because, say the band, „It’s a new chapter in our lives and hopefully yours.“

Oh please. You had a super-sexy name that was challenging and daring and naughty and funny and inappropriate and controversial and interesting and confrontational and hyper relevant — and you bottled it. Now you might as well be called Rehearsal Space. Or Studio Door. Or the First Really Safe Thing We Could Think Of. Or Snow Patrol. You have disgraced yourselves.

No one is going to remember a band called the Soft Pack. You have effectively just written yourselves out of history. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Apologise now while there’s still time and then change your name back or never get written about by me again.“

(Steven Wells im Guardian)


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